You Know You’re a Vaper When You Speak Vape

Are you one of those people who walk around with their head in the clouds? 

Do you always seem to see the world as if you're looking through a fog? 

Instead of having to actually stop and smell the roses, do you live in a world that is filled delicious aromas?

I’m asking if you are a dreamer and no, I’m not asking if you are delusional. 

I’m asking if you are a Vaper. Do you use an electronic cigarette?

If you are a vaper have you noticed that those of us who use electronic cigarettes kind of live in a world of our own?

Watch the face of a non-vaper when they listen to us talking about ecigs and eliquids.... They have no idea what we are saying. It wouldn’t matter if we were speaking Swahili, they couldn’t be any more lost. 

Don’t believe it? Then check out these definitions of common words that mean something totally different to us than to our poor vapour deprived brethren.

For the sake of brevity V will signify vaper and NV will stand for the poor unfortunates of the world.


NV- designation of Male/Female or the schedule, you follow at a meeting

V- The concerted effort by established businesses such as BT (Big Tobacco), Anti-Smoking Charities and their government lackeys who see Electronic Cigarettes as a threat to their livelihood.


NV- The floors in a boat or something cards come in.

V- Where your wick and coils are located


NV- A poor soul who would be a rocker if they just had the berries to buck up

V- A customisable electronic cigarette


NV- Text-ledge for Oh My God and expression of exclamation.

V- An eliquid that contains no nicotine


NV- Twig, Willie, Johnson, Snake, Lizard, etc., you know

V- Actually P.E.N.I.S. (Personal Electronic Nicotine Inhalation System)


NV- What you are after a good match or a hard day on the job

V- Cancer Stick, Coffin Nail, Tobbacco Cigarette


NV- One of those big metal monsters we all like to see on the Telly rolling over people and blowing things up.

V- Where you put the eliquid in your atomiser

Throat Hit/Throat Kick

NV- A really cool move in a Kung-Fu movie or something a mugger might do before stealing your money

V- That wonderfully dreamy feeling you get in the back of your throat when you fire your mod and the sweet nectar of vapour comes rolling . . . Sorry, got distracted there for a moment.


NV- Something you do with a ball or hand grenade; see bowling

V- How far the switch on your Mod has to travel before it lights up

Can you see what I mean? 

In vaping circles, if you asked a girl to check the throw on your Mod PENIS it would be a perfectly acceptable request. Try it with a non-vaper and you may have to stop by at A&E before continuing home for a bit of rest and recovery.

NVs simply don’t understand our language.

For even more fun and the latest on the happenings in the e-cig world, be sure to like the Exhale Cigarettes page on Facebook.

30th Jan 2015 Dan The Man

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